The Forgiveness Technique
Reiki Master Teacher Diana Henderson
The Forgiveness Technique was
first presented to Unity Church of Cary in Spring 2003.
to Bring Forgiveness of Self and Others
© 2003 L. Diana Henderson
I daresay we’ve all had events in our lives that scarred us
some way. We’ve experienced situations that we
difficult to forgive—either to forgive ourselves or to
others and often both.
Take a few moments now to think back to such a situation in your own
life. It can be some small (or large) thing that happened
the last week or month or year, or it can be something from childhood
or adolescence that has haunted you for many years. Sometimes
big, deep-seated issues require more work, but the technique
you’re going to perform can be used to resolve any issue that
needs forgiveness. Note: For this first time, please choose
issue that involves only one
other person in addition to yourself. This will make it
easier to do the technique with everyone later.
Before you begin, I want to share with you how I was given this
technique. A few years ago, something triggered a memory of
encounter that I needed to forgive. The incident in question
place over 25 years past, and truthfully I hadn’t thought
it in countless years. I can’t tell you what the
for this old memory was because I can’t recall. The
wasn’t important. What followed was.
One night I suddenly recalled in full, vivid detail a hurtful encounter
I had with someone when I was in my early 20s. At that time,
was emerging from a dark and difficult period in my life. A
man—a sort of indirect colleague of my father’s who
knew me—cornered me alone in an elevator and proceeded to
me in very cruel terms. This person wasn’t close to me at
all. As I said, he hardly knew me; so I felt as if some
were verbally assaulting me without provocation. I recall
extremely hurt and then becoming angry, embarrassed and completely
taken off guard to the extent that I lost the ability to speak up for
myself or answer this man in any way. Later I thought of many
things I could have said, but at the time his words and the anger with
which he flung them at me left me speechless and in tears.
When this memory suddenly surfaced, I felt all those feelings again
just as I did when the incident occurred. Then I heard a
within me say, “It’s time to
don’t mind telling you my first reaction was, “I
don’t think I can do that.” In that
moment I felt
just as hurt and angry as I did when cornered by this man in the
elevator 25 years earlier—and, as much as I was furious with
I was also upset with myself for not defending myself—as I
failed to do so a lot of other times in my life. So I
said to the Divine, “If you want me to forgive this,
going to have to show me how!”
The word “show” is significant, because
exactly what happened. You could call what occurred next a
vision. I like to call it a living memory.
In essence the Divine transported my psyche back to that moment in full
Technicolor, surround sound, live action mode! But instead of
being just myself, I felt as if I were both myself and the other person.
So here’s how I was led to forgiveness....
If you have read What
Tom Sawyer Learned from Dying,
you know what a life review is. Basically, it’s
what people refer to as your life “passing before your
eyes,” but it packs a much more powerful punch. We
experience from the perspective of anyone involved in each situation
what transpired in our lives.
What Spirit did for me that day was give me a brief review of this
man’s life. I experienced his life—all
difficulties and rejections and his feelings of being less than
others—and I understood with complete clarity what led this
to say what he did to me that day. I felt absolute compassion
him and deep understanding.
As this happened, I also experienced forgiveness of myself, because
that level of compassion and “knowing” extends to
in such moments of unconditional love and understanding. The
Divine gave me the same perfect appreciation and comprehension of the
young woman I was and why I was unable to defend against this onslaught
on that day.
I loved us both—both these beautiful souls standing in that
elevator all those years earlier. And then the thing I most
needed—to speak up for myself—happened in the best
way.... In that moment, I reached out to this man, touched his face
with my palm and said, “I understand. I love you
and I forgive you completely. Someday you’ll
too. But for now just know that everything is exactly as it
meant to be.” I embraced him with love and embodied
for myself and all others in that moment. Then I returned to
present, knowing forgiveness as I’d never known it.
truly blessed, and my belief is that wherever that man was at the time
he felt it too.
Afterward, I realized that one reason I’d encountered that
incident 25 years earlier was precisely so I could experience
forgiveness in this exact way. Since then I’ve felt
by the Divine to share this technique with others. So you are invited
to try this method if you wish. The effect that comes from complete
forgiveness is that your entire being—physically, mentally,
emotionally and spiritually—can be cleared of the issues,
energies and detritus related to the incident at hand.
First, take the time to consider and write down what you need to
resolve and forgive. Once you've prepared sufficiently, you may
Close your eyes and take three deep breaths in through the nose and out
through the mouth. On the exhale, allow yourself to release a big sigh.
Now, begin to recall again the situation you thought of a few minutes
ago, the one that needs resolution and forgiveness. Remember
much about the other person involved as possible. Bring to
what each of you were wearing, your environment or setting and any
other details that will help evoke this scene as a living memory.
Recall what was said and done to produce feelings of hurt or anger
within you. If you can’t remember everything
that’s okay. Just recall as best you can.
Get in touch with your body now. Where does this anger or
lie within your body? Ask the Divine to go to that place and
Call upon the Divine to guide this experience to your highest
good. You can address the Divine in whatever way resonates
your beliefs: “Dear God, today, on the
_______________________ (date including year, e.g., 12th of May), at
_______________________ (location) in the _____________ (time:
afternoon, evening, etc.), I call upon you to guide and assist me in
opening to forgiveness and resolution within my heart, body, mind and
spirit of whatever situation I now hold within my memory. I
forgiveness for myself and all others as well as understanding and
compassion. I call upon You to assist me in reviewing this
experience in my mind with your love and oneness as I open to the
certainty of the perfection of this moment. So I pray and give thanks
for these blessings of love...And so it is done in the name of God (use
whatever resonates with your beliefs). Amen.
Now, take a few more deep, full breaths. As you continue to
breathe deeply, imagine a beautiful bubble of blue protective energy
and an emerald green healing light (or a rose pink bubble of Divine
Love) around your body. These spheres of light are filled
Divine energy of pure love. With each inhale, you breathe in
healing light and love. Throughout this experience,
going to remain safe and loved within these beautiful
matter what you may encounter from the past. At any time, you
breathe deeply to assist in bringing in more love and releasing any
Now it’s time for you to go on a journey to the moment when
experienced feelings of hurt and anger that remain
Just let your conscious mind go. Your heart, your body,
with your subconscious remember that moment. Let yourself go
there now. See it; feel it, hear it; experience it within the
safety of your protective bubble.
Stand as an observer of those involved in this
the other person and yourself. Imagine in this moment that
are one with the perfect Light and Love of God, and that in this
oneness with the Divine you see this moment through Jesus' eyes (or
Buddha or World Teacher/Ascended Master who resonates with your
beliefs), with His heart of perfect compassion. In this
call upon the Divine to allow you to experience the oneness with the
other person involved in this situation. Know what that
knows; feel what he or she feels; experience that person’s
as it led to this moment. Allow it to play out in whatever way is most
appropriate to bring understanding.
In silence allow this to unfold. Take as long as you need.
Look at yourself in that moment. Feel, see, sense and
your own life review as the truth of who you were in that moment and
why you chose that experience are revealed to you. Again,
Now unite in love and oneness with the Divine as you heal that moment
in whatever way is necessary. Within your heart and mind, if you need
to say something to the other person or to embrace
you feel led to do to acknowledge the perfection of this
moment—allow that to happen on a deep level.
Love this moment of understanding and compassion. Inasmuch as
you’re willing to clear this experience from your energy
your body and your consciousness, clear it now through love,
forgiveness and acceptance. Embrace its life
Embrace the oneness of yourself and the other person and all
existence. Embrace the Divine. Know that you were
ever be exactly as you were meant to be in every moment of your life.
Now take another deep cleansing breath and bring your awareness back to
the present time. With your intent and imagination, as the
protective bubble continues to surround you, draw the emerald green (or
rose pink) bubble filled with God’s love into your heart
to engulf your heart in love.
Give thanks for this blessing of forgiveness and acknowledge that this,
as all experiences, are the lessons of a spiritual being living in
human form. Bless the moment of pain and the moment of
forgiveness and cherish both as teachers. Now take one more
cleansing breath and come back into wakefulness. Then, whenever
you’re ready you may open your eyes.
I believe that in using this technique or others that might be similar,
we can move beyond forgiveness into acceptance of our lives and the
lives of others and clear away old wounds as well as new ones that come
into our lives. May we reach a level of understanding that
enable us to realize that each experience is a blessing that leads us
closer to the Divine.
© copyright 2003 L. Diana Henderson (may NOT be reprinted
If you wish permission to use in a presentation or share with others,
please contact Diana
The meditation experience I relate above was a gift from Spirit that I
used in a talk to Unity Church of Cary in 2003. My interest
meditation spans over 30 years. I've been teaching and leading guided
meditations since the mid-1990s and served as the Healing &
Meditations board member for Spiritual Frontiers Fellowship for six
years (2000-2006). I include meditation in healing sessions, in classes
such as Reiki, Intuition, Crystals and DNA Activation Workshops.
Meditation is an integral part of my daily life as well as my work, and
I continue to reap countless benefits from its practice.
To receive more information about Reiki classes, private sessions or
events, call 919-552-0524 or email by clicking
~ Diana Henderson, Reiki Master Teacher
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